The Showrunners, Arrested Development, and the Golden Age

As you all know (and you should, if you don’t), we are in a golden age of television. Yes, a TV landscape that includes 4 Kardashian-themed programs can be considered a golden age. One of the biggest influences on the current crop of (non-Kardashian) shows is Arrested Development, the beloved comedy that boosted many careers and kickstarted the “mockumentary” sub-genre.

Arrested Development returns

And soon, Arrested Development will be back on a screen near you, if you have a Netflix subscription. But will it live up to the hype of the desperate fans that pleaded for its return?

The true answer to that I don’t know, as I’m no expert at Divination, but I think I am qualified to make a few predictions. For one, there are jackasses out there that didn’t like the second season of Game of Thrones (“It didn’t follow the booooooooks!” they whined), and others that bitched and moaned about Leslie winning on Parks and Rec (“It’s gonna change things!”). Likewise, there will be some little shits that will hate on the new Arrested Development, about how it’s not as good as it used to be, etc. Those are nerds that will never be pleased, so I’m not worried about that demographic.

But there is one real problem Development faces: we are living in a golden age of television, and some people might just not be so impressed anymore.

Currently I’m reading The Showrunners, by David Wild, a book about TV writers that was penned back in 1999. Wild, a Rolling Stone writer, interviews legendary TV figures like Aaron Spelling, the Bright/Kauffman/Crane team, and my person TV hero Paul Simms. Simms, for one, discusses his time spent writing for HBO’s Larry Sanders Show, which is discussed in the book with such reverence you’d think they were talking about M*A*S*H or Lucy. Marc Maron, comedian’s comedian and host of the WTF with Marc Maron podcast, talks about Larry Sanders with the same incredulousness, that such a show could even exist.

I was too young to have seen Larry Sanders the first time around, but I watched it when I was older and the show hit On Demand (at my parent’s place, of course). And it’s funny. But it didn’t blow me away – nothing I had not seen. Reminded me of 30 Rock, and Extras.

Now, don’t worry, comedy nerds. I get the show. But this is the basis of my argument – time has passed. Since Arrested Development went off the air, we have seen Community, we’ve seen Modern Family, we’ve seen Veep. Hell, The Office feels SO old-hat now, and it experience it’s height of creativity, it’s height of popularity, and later creative downfall, all since Development left the airwaves. When AD was on the air, Amy Poehler was the less famous of the Arnett-Poehler duo. When AD was on the air, Saddam Hussein was still alive!

So what if that happens now? What if we have seen too much to be impressed anymore? AD has a dated format – I hate to bring up Community yet again, but when you have a show parodying shows that parody documentaries, that genre might be a little stale.

Plus, the Arrested Development story ended. The Iraq plot solved itself as best it could, and we knew that the family would never become decent humans, so we were satisfied watching Michael and his son escape into the distance.

As The Showrunners reminded me, history is full of classic TV that overstayed its welcome. That’s really the whole design of the American TV system – play, play, play until it fails.

I was as sad as anyone that AD lasted as briefly as it did. But can’t we just leave a good thing as it was?

Why are they still making this show?

I watched the newest episode of Glee last night, and all I could think was WOW, there is clearly a star on this show and it’s not Lea Michele.

Darren Criss steals every scene he’s in, every song that he sings, and is clearly meant for better things than High School Afterschoolspecial Musical.

While I think that Chris Colfer’s quite the budding starlet as well and I truly believe he’s got a huge future ahead of him, Kurt and Blaine have zero chemistry and I’m sick of St. Hummel as a character. It would be smart for this show to graduate Kurt, Rachel and the other seniors and start a fresh slate, using the old favorites for guest spots in the future, but unfortunately the makers of Glee love shooting themselves in the foot.

It’s difficult to remember that this season started out great: full-time addition of Blaine, truly excellent story lines for Santana and Mike (Mike! Where was he last night?), the awesomeness that was the Troubletones.

But the past three weeks haven’t been able to keep my interest at all, and even what previously could save a horrible Glee episode – a mesmerizing musical performance – has not helped. Last night’s versions of “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” and “It’s Night Right, But It’s Okay” were good, but not episode-saving.

Better than any critique I could offer, however, is the one from my boyfriend as we sat on the couch watching the show. While I’ve forced my musical-loathing beau to watch many an hour of Glee before, he usually appreciates the quick humor and stomachs it quite well. But last night, all he could say was, “I thought this show used to be funny.”

I did, too, darlin.

On a positive note, MVP of the Week goes to Puck and Sam, who offered some much-needed humor (“I can be super helpful, but when you ask me stuff, you’ve got to be real specific.”) Thanks, guys.

She Saved the World A Lot, Part 2: At Ease, Soldier

NOTE: In an effort to kill all of the haters with cuteness, this post will be chock-full of Riley Finn’s adorable mug. Browsers beware.

So after that bit of negativity, I’m going to develop a more positive picture today with my second Buffy-themed column, this time about a character that was MORE thought-out and well-rounded than many fans give the writers credit for: Riley Finn.

Picnic? In the park? With me? Why of course, Mr. Finn!

Riley was introduced in the fourth season under impossible circumstances – the kids were going off to college and leaving high school – and Angel – behind. Back in 1999, this was difficult for many viewers to adjust to, myself included. Of course, back in 1999, I was in the seventh grade, so I might not have been the audience that Joss and Co. were aiming for.

The transition from high school to college on Buffy, in my opinion, was one of the few examples in TV history where it worked perfectly. Although the show’s basic concept – girl fights demons – didn’t change, the entire framework of the series was altered drastically by the transition in locale, but the characters we loved stayed intact. In the case of Giles and Willow, they got even better and more layered!

But with Riley, the hunky new love interest for Buffy, it was an uphill battle towards acceptance with the fans, and there are many that still don’t have warm fuzzies for him today. Some of that might have to do with the drastic alteration in personality the character suffered in season 5, but I think most of it was just that he wasn’t Angel.

I don’t need to say this to you, dear readers, but Buffy and Angel were freaking EPIC. It was their romance that sucked in viewers during the second season and propelled the show forward. So when they broke up, there was no one that could live up to the amount of hype and anticipation that Buffy fans experienced week after week while enjoying the Angel saga.

Riley Finn vs Angel with Buffy

It's okay if it's in a three way, boys.

More evidence of fan hatred for Agent Finn: in a fanpop.com poll for “Best word to describe Riley Finn,” “Captain Cardboard” was the winner with 34% of the votes.

Here’s what those fans don’t want to hear: Riley was a good dude and a crazy interesting character!! Unlike Buffy, who grew up on a Hellmouth in California (a state in which cynicism is her birthright just as much as slayage), Riley grew up in IOWA. You know what’s in Iowa? Corn. So, so much corn. And Ashton Kutcher. Does that sound like someone who would make a great demon-fighter? And yet, Riley accepted Buffy for all that she was and loved her for it. That’s insane!!!

Think about it: Angel was “destined” to love Buffy. And Buffy was basically the most beautiful and awesome girl that Xander had ever met, so of course he loved her. But Riley could have been off doing other things (and other girls). He could have been with any college gal he wanted and been a normal Marine or whatever and had a totally normal life – but he didn’t. He CHOSE to join the Initiative because he was ready to fight for a cause he believed in (at the time) and he CHOSE to “court” Buffy (and he used the word COURT, no joke) because he really liked her.

And yet, people still don’t see that awesomeness of that!! What the hell???

I’m definitely not hating on Angel because I, too, will always hope for those crazy kids to work it out, whenever Buffy’s done baking her cookies or whatever. But for that time in Buffy’s life, when so much was changing and she was fighting her biggest enemies ever (the government, losing Angel, college classes, friends splitting apart), she needed a stable, “real” guy to lean on.

Riley Finn Buffy Summers season 4

It might not have been true love, but c'mon, they were freaking cute!!

Also, unlike any man that Buffy was ever with, Xander and Willow both heartily approved of Riley. Remember when Riley went out of his way to make friends with Willow so he could earn her approval and learn more about the object of his affection? It was basically the cutest thing ever. And Xander, who as we discussed here previously rarely got any moments of greatness, had an awesome “yellow crayon” moment where he defended Riley to Buffy and tried to talk some sense into her.

Yeah, Riley’s whole “good boy” thing was kind of destroyed when he started getting the living daylights sucked out of him by weirdo vampire skanks, but even then, I felt bad for him. I mean, this show has always done a beautiful job of expressing the feelings of mistreated or scorned women (unlike 90% of all programs on TV), but here was a true expression from a man that felt unloved and cast aside by the girl he worshipped. You can hate what he did, but you can understand his pain, because we’ve ALL been there, male or female.

Anyway, you can feel free to disagree with me in the comments below, but I know I’m right and you’re wrong!! Riley forever!!!!!

Riley Finn Buffy BtVs

Bitch, please.

 

Here are some Riley quotes for the road!:

 

Buffy: How did you respond so fast?

Riley: I didn’t, I was just late for church.

 

Colonel: You’re a dead man, Finn.

Riley: No sir. I’m an anarchist.

 

Oh. Yes. I am a lesbian.”

 

(On Angel) “Well, there you go, even when he’s good he’s all Mr. Billowy Coat, King of Pain!

 

Willow: Okay, say that I help, and you start a conversation, it goes great – you like Buffy, she likes you, you spend time together, feelings grow deeper – and one day, without even realizing it, you find you’re in love. Time stops, and it feels like the whole world is made for you two and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who’s now a broken, hollow mockery of the human condition.

Riley: Yep, that’s the plan.

She Saved the World A Lot: What Could Have Been

Buffy and Xander

This is how I want to remember ol' Xand. Badass.

You all know me to be a huge Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan. Celebrating the show’s 15th anniversary this month, I want to start out by pointing out some things I didn’t like.

Namely, what could have been.

Buffy is known for its characters, many of which were fully actualized, well rounded people that went on amazing journeys throughout the course of the series. Besides Buffy herself, Willow is the prime example of this. Willow went from a meek nerd to a confident fighter to a lost woman to a calm source of power, all within seven seasons. On another note, Giles, already an adult when we meet him, is a character that came ready-made and developed, and part of the fun of watching him was peeling back the layers to see how he became the loveable mentor the gang knew him as.

Many auxiliary characters, such as Tara and even Amy, are given similar arcs over the course of the series.

So why couldn’t the writers do the same for Xander Harris?

Xander is the Zeppo

He likes the quiet.

While re-watching the fourth and fifth seasons, it became abundantly clear to me that the writers just did not know what to do with a character like Xander. When I was a kid and first started watching Buffy, Xander was my favorite! He was funny, he was deeply in a one-sided love with Buffy, and he was an idiot when he needed to be and brave when he needed to be as well. The first three seasons showed a Xander that I liked – he was actually a complex human being. He hated Angel for reasons both right and wrong. He supported the team even when they didn’t support him. He dated Cordelia, which was never not funny. And who could forget “The Zeppo,” Xander’s shining moment?

And then Xander stopped making the jokes and just became one. His only useful addition to the team in the fourth season was constantly harking back to his one night of military experience (how long could they keep that shtick going?) and the fifth season proved him to be even more useless, serving only as Riley’s sidekick (and no, writers, making an episode that points out the problem of Xander – “The Replacement” – does not mean that you’ve fixed the problem, you’ve just made it more obvious to the viewers. What is this, Glee?). His relationship with Anya was funny, but after a re-watch you might start to realize that all of his jokes about Anya were rehashed from his relationship with Cordy – she’s frank! She’s immature! She can’t read a situation! Haha! Both girls were essentially the same in that respect, and it got tired when Xander’s only purpose was to make some remark about his girlfriend. Xander never really matured until his “yellow crayon” moment at the end of season 6 (a season in which he was mostly downright despicable) and continued to grow somewhat through season 7, once he had a job to do – fix the damn house! – and Andrew to pick on.

What happened to the great character we started with?

Imagine this, if you will. A Xander that, after sick of being so useless in season 4, decided to come to Giles during the opening of season 5 and ask to be trained as a Watcher. He’s had tons of experience fighting evil at that point and now he’s ready to buckle down and learn unlike he ever did in high school – similar to how many slacker boys are in real life when they get to college and find a real passion for something.

Or how about this scenario – couldn’t Xander have taken a self-defense course or something? Maybe “That’s my purse, I don’t know you!” doesn’t quite work on the undead, but it would have been a bit more helpful than what he was able to contribute. I understand that Xander should never gain superpowers, and I appreciate that. We love Xander because he’s not one of the special ones. But he could at least elevate himself to the level that Giles can fight at! Come on! I’ve always wanted to see Xander as a Ron Weasley character – he cracks his jokes and occasionally is hesitant to fight, but when push comes to shove he can be a powerful ally. He’s “the heart,” but with no heart.

Or even this – much like the night he discovered Angel was alive in season 3, Xander patrols by himself, or with Willow, and discovers plot points all by himself throughout the course of the series! What a thought!

You know, they tried to make Xander “Dude Who Sees Things,” which would have been badass, but they only introduced this concept of Xander being cool for ONE EPISODE, so he could get his eyeball popped out. Talk about pulling a Tara!!

“What could have been” was thankfully, at least somewhat addressed in the “Season 8” comics, where Xander is given half a brain and command over a cell of Slayers.

But Xander wasn’t the only main character who got the shaft, although he was the most important one.

How about a second question – Anya? Why couldn’t she get some real character development, too?

In the show, as is, Anya is completely loveable, sure, but completely half baked as a well-rounded character.

Anya from Buffy

The bunny thing got old after a while.

Here’s how I would have hoped Anya would have grown over the course of the series: Starts off confused and lost in the world, but still helps out by giving the Scooby Gang vital information about the demon world. Slowly, she adjusts to the human world and develops a flair for business, but can’t resist picking up some old demon spells or ways or friends – much to Xander’s chagrin. She’s torn between her old life of immortality and power and her new considerably more domestic one with Xander, and Mr. Harris ultimately decides to call off their wedding, leaving her heartbroken and demon once again. Anya can’t help herself but continue to assist the Scooby Gang and work at the Magic Box, though, keeping her constantly torn between two worlds. Obviously, she gets into funny situations along the way, but her confusion and troubles aren’t just always played for laughs.

And you know what the funny thing is? I think this is EXACTLY what the writers thought they wanted for Anya’s character, too! But the execution was not what was on this page. Instead of using her for interesting demon information (the gang does this maybe four or five times throughout the whole series), she just sits around and makes weird jokes about her old demon days. Umm…she was a demon for hundreds of years, YOU SHOULD BE ASKING HER QUESTIONS! FIRST, BEFORE YOU GO TO GILES OR A BOOK! There’s NO real reason for Xander to leave her at the alter (still my LEAST favorite story in the history of the show) except for him being a total dipshit, and although she was introduced as a savvy, clever enemy in season 3’s The Wish, she never again showed any of the same prowess for adaptation or quick thinking.

At the end of the day, I still love these two characters, but sometimes, especially while watching season 5, the frustration is too much for me to handle.

And do you know what I think the culprit of all this is? The writers needed more time to develop the character of SPIKE. Really. Xander and Anya were pushed aside not because the writers hated them, but because there wasn’t enough screen time while competing with such a great character like SPIKE. (Please feel my sarcasm through the Internet.)

And don’t get me started on Dawn.

Anyway, any frustrations you want to vent? Do it here!

The Oscars Were Really, Really, Really Terrible this Year

The Oscars were last night – the one night a year where the wonder of Hollywood comes to the small screen. The stars! The Old Hollywood Glamour! The nip slips!

For me, all that I saw last night was more proof that this is a tired, archaic institution that, instead of adapting with the times, has actually become worse for the wear.

For the record, I know that all awards shows are totally pointless and only exist so that rich people can pat each other on the back (and see who can get the most free crap from the swag booth). But there has always been something I liked about them, too – maybe it’s because of the thrill of watching live TV, I don’t know.

Some shows have adapted over the years to suit a new audience. Look at the Grammys – most of the awards are handed out before the broadcast airs, and instead the whole show is like one big concert, with varied acts and elaborate sets and big-name collaborations. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but it usually produces moments worth talking about and re-watching the next day. Same with the Golden Globes, the Oscars red-headed stepsister – hiring Ricky Gervais two years ago demonstrated the dangerous and fun element a good host can bring to an otherwise dull affair. Also they serve alcohol. Good choice.

But alas, the Academy Awards are nothing but the same old drivel. While I thought Eddie Murphy would have been a capable host this year, I didn’t see anything exciting about him in particular, and I thought that when he dropped out, the show had a unique opportunity to get someone really out-of-the-box (NOT out-of-the-blue like Anne Hathaway and James Franco, might you). Someone like a Gervais, you know? Or like Joel McHale, or Aziz Ansari, or Tina Fey. Someone who can improvise, someone who can make fun of the room and still get a laugh. Or if you wanted to play it safe, get Neil Patrick Harris! He’s proven himself to be a great host of other shows, he’s well-liked and respected by peers, and just like most of the Oscars viewing audience, he’s gay – instant appeal!

So, needless to say, Billy Crystal was not my first choice. He’s hosted the show nine times, so by now, he’s on auto-pilot, pulling the same shtick as the previous eight goes. Plus, he added nothing to the night with his constant jokes about old people, how things “used to be,” and “what the kids are doing these days” – which is, if Crystal is to be believed, texting and using iPads and liking Justin Beiber. Though I remember Crystal from my childhood as being witty and quick, when I read his pre-Oscar interview in Entertainment Weekly where he made a crack about movie theaters these days “glow” from all the phones that are being used during the movie, I knew we were in trouble.

Additionally, on a note unrelated to the broadcast, I haven’t seen any of these movies that were being honored. Nobody has. It’s hard to get emotionally attached to something that you’ve only been told in a commercial that “critics adore.” It wasn’t THAT long ago that films like Gladiator, Braveheart, Titanic and The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King were best picture winners. People freaking LOVED those movies, and they made gajillions of dollars, and they were still amazing pictures that all Americans have in our collective consciousness (yes, even Titanic). In 2010, the Academy said they would widen the Best Picture nomination list, partially to make room for animated films like Up or action tales like The Dark Knight. This year there were nine nominees, but only two – Moneyball and The Help – were popular, and neither were near Gladiator levels.

Thanks to my mom, who provided sangria while my family watched the telecast. It really helped me make it through.

Here were the only two highlights of the night:

Dean Pelton strikes a pose.

Jim Rash won for his work on the script for The Descendants, which not only was great for the fan-favorite Community star, but it was also hilarious when he mocked Giada DeLaurentiis’s Angelina Jolie’s ridiculous pose she struck throughout the night.

The Prince of (Oscar) Parties

Flight of the Conchords star and adorable Kiwi Bret Mckenzie pick up a win for his “Man or Muppet” song from The Muppets. His speech was charming. Perhaps he and Jemaine could host next year’s ceremony? Now THAT I would watch.

 

Saccharine Noise

 

 

Tonight is the mid-season return of the FOX singing-high-schoolers show, “Glee.” I wish those fuckers would quit it already.

I was with this joint from the beginning, when the network ran a special May preview of the first episode. Instantly, I was hooked. Smitten, over-the-moon, head-over-heals crazy for this show. It was like someone finally took my idea for Election the Musical!

And “Glee” was good. Very, very good. For a single, 13-episode half-season.

Every subsequent episode has been a pathetic attempt to recapture lightening in a bottle.

Yet we all watched, hoping that something magical would happen once again. And there were brief moments of magic – the minting of Darren Criss as a bonafide star comes to mind.

But mostly, the second half of season 1 and all of season 2 were utter crap.This season has been moderately better – Santana’s coming out storyline, Mike’s clash with his parents – but the good parts have been mostly feel-good moments with no bite. The Rachel Berry character started out as a overachieving terror that audiences could never-the-less relate to because of her overwhelming self-consciousness and doubt. Now she’s boring.

The Kurt character originally demonstrated a young boy’s struggle with coming out and accepting himself, as well as showing teens a healthy family relationship between a dad and his gay son. Now he’s boring, and his day-old plots are boring.

You get the picture? When “Glee” found things that worked, they ran them into the ground until they were useless and boring. Brittany? Not funny anymore. Santana? Her jabs just don’t seem that mean anymore. Sue? Even folks who only watch the commercials know this character is pointless and repetative now.

This show should decide on what it wants to be. Sometimes it wants to be a “Nip/Tuck”-style soap opera, and sometimes it wants to be a realistic, “teaching moments” high school drama like Degrassi. And sometimes the show will do anything to shoehorn in a needless karaoke number like American Idol. JUST DECIDE ALREADY.

I’m going to watch tonight, just as I have all season. What can I say, I like the silly musical numbers. But I’m guessing there will be some frustration, not over the quality of the specific episode, but about “what could have been” for this whole series.

We’ll always have the front 13.

Holiday dead air

The holidays are BORING.

This is the one time of year that absolutely nothing comes on.

Television has become a more year-round experience in the past ten years, thanks to the advent of reality shows and the rise of quality cable programming during the summer. Since I haven’t known much else in my lifetime, I am totally spoiled by always having something to watch.

But, even talk shows rerun during the week after Christmas, because no one wants to work during that week. I have to, but that’s because I’m a normal American pleb. I’m not Jon fucking Stewart.

So, if I could make some suggestions, here’s what you can do to ease the dead air:

  • Watch “How I Met Your Mother” on Netflix streaming. The CBS sitcom was added to the Netflix line up last month, and if you’ve only casually seen the show in syndication or haven’t watched an episode in years, this would be a great time to catch up on this fluffy but funny series. Even the dumbest episodes of the show (which always seem to center around one of Barney’s formulaic schemes or theories) are still funny to watch, and when “HIMYM” hits the mark, it really hits. Last season was considered kind of a dud, but it still delivered one of the series’ high points when Marshall’s father died. It was touching, sad, funny and realistic, and got the show back on track. Additionally, last season saw the second biggest mystery of the show’s lore – the identity of Barney’s father – was solved in an equally poignant manner.

  • Check out a foreign series for the first time. In other countries, TV shows have endings. They don’t run forever until they suck, and there’s something to be said for that.  Hulu.com hosts British shows like “Misfits,” a favorite of my sister’s, as well as “Whites” and the original “Skins.” The site streams Korean dramas, too, which I guess are a “thing” now. I can recommend “My Lovely Sam-Soon,” “The Woman Who Still Wants to Marry” and “Personal Taste.”

  • Host a hula-themed marathon viewing of your favorite summer movies. Because I’m a masochist, and because in Tennessee, we have three seasons: Christmas, Summer and the Muck Inbetween. During Christmas (Oct. 1 – Dec. 25), all we want is snow, snow, snow – it’s all we think about and we never get it, like a sophomore cruising for sweet poontang in high school. When Christmas is over (literally at midnight on Dec. 26), we decided we are sick of cold weather and demand it become warm again so we can play sports and drink beer outside and and go to music festivals (this is only slightly an exaggeration). So there’s no better way to kick off the Muck Season than to watch The Sandlot, Wet Hot American Summer, Indiana Jones and the Some Ancient Relic, Independence Day, Point Break, Caddyshack… you get the idea. Watch these flicks and wish you were somewhere else. Somewhere warm.

  • READ A FUCKING BOOK.**

  • Cut together a YouTube video of all of your favorite clips from this year’s episodes of “The Daily Show,” “The Colbert Report,” “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,” or whatever nightly talk show you prefer (unless your favorite talk show host is Jay Leno… then just fucking kill yourself). This will take hours of viewing footage, which would be a good way to look back on a shitty year like 2011 and laugh. Man did 2011 suck or what?

  •  Go ahead and start making your Darth Maul costume for the 3D re-release of The Phantom Menace. February is only just around the corner, people.

If none of these appeal to you, then I guess you could just watch reruns of “Community,” because pretty soon that’s all we’ll have left. Just another reason that 2011 blows.

(**Might I suggest George R. R. Martin’s A Clash of Kings? That way you’ll be spoiled come April when “Game of Thrones” returns on HBO.)