Television for the 99%

I’m goin’ legit, y’all.

As you know, if you are reading this, I’m Kate and I don’t have cable. My beautiful Samsung television set picks up ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, The CW, My TV30, WGN and, for some reason, The Lifetime Movie Network.

Most everything else I watch is courtesy of hulu.com or Netflix streaming on my Nintendo Wii. Sometimes, cable networks throw me a bone by streaming their new episodes on their websites, like Logo does with RuPaul’s Drag Race (bless your hearts, you marvelous gays!).

However, I still somehow manage to watch programs like Justified, Top Chef and Game of Thrones because I stream or download them illegally on the Internet.

And apparently, it is going to get a lot harder to do that pretty soon.

Now, I’m not here to comment on the SOPA/PIPA debate. I will say that current legislation is a little… much, shall we say, and most believe the government’s efforts will not make much difference in stopping piracy. But it’s definitely true that change is on the horizon. Megavideo, a site I used for years to watch episodes I missed here and there, was recently shut down by the feds. I am going to have to adapt to a changing environment.

Since I am not yet a self-made millionaire, I still can’t afford the luxury of cable TV, and this space will reflect that. So I am setting down some ground rules. I will not recap or review a cable program that has just aired. I must wait until that show has come to hulu, Netflix, or – God forbid – DVD, if I want to write a column or get into detailed discussion about it. If I can watch it legally, I can talk about it, but if I can’t, then I must zip my lips. (Or… keyboard.)

And, as of now, I am vowing to stop using those illegal sites for as long as I’m writing this blog.

Of course, I can hear what you’re saying now, echoing across the Internet. “BUT KATE! How will you possibly go a whole year without watching the new season of Game of Thrones?” Well yes, it’s true that I’d sooner drive my old Caddy over a cliff than miss it. So I thought I’d throw in a little loophole for that one. I’m adding the new category of “Parental Guidance,” because yes, folks, I will be watching that show on Sunday nights at my parents house. A show that coined the term “sexposition,” a show with as many boobs as Congress, a show where the lovable dad gets decapitated. I will be watching with my Ma and Pop. Because that’s what you do when you’re poor.

So those are the new house rules, gang. Right now, I’m going to make the best with what I’ve got, so that one day, I will be able to afford the finer things in life, like 700 channels of high definition reruns. Maybe U-verse will have come to my neighborhood by then?